Argument Essay Revision

Argument Essay Reflection and Revision

1. What did you do well? What are you proud of?
2. What do you need to work on in writing argument essays?
3. If you are revising, which of the following areas do you need to work on?

I: Structure and Development

1. Write a brief outline. Include thesis and list 3 reasons that you will explain in the body paragraphs.
2. Reconsider the evidence in each body paragraph (1-2). Perhaps choose an example from the book rather than an outside source.
3. Rewrite a body paragraph. Pay attention to the topic and concluding sentences. Make sure they are not unnecessarily repetitive.

II: Logical Reasoning

1. Read the list of logical fallacies. Highlight parts of your essay where your reasoning is not logical or convincing.
2. Rewrite those parts.

III: Sentences

1. Reread handouts on how to write compound and complex sentences.
2. Highlight the run-ons, fragments, and awkward sentences in your essay. Rewrite them.

IV. Craft and Conventions

1. When you transition from one idea to another, between sentences or paragraphs, you should do so in a smooth and subtle way. While transitional words such as first of all are sometimes helpful, they are not always necessary.
1. A good way to transition between ideas is through writing complex and compound sentences and using conjunctions (FANBOYS and AAAWWUBBIS).
2. Also, repeat key terms and/or use synonyms.
3. Underline the transitions in your essay, places where you move from one idea to another. Rewrite parts that are redundant or mechanical.
2. Work on MLA format, especially the Works Cited page.
3. Work on word choice. Highlight words where you can use more precise and sophisticated words. Use a thesaurus to replace them.

Writing the Body Paragraph

Be sure to include:

1. Topic sentence
2. Context/background
3. Evidence - quotation or paraphrase
4. Elaboration/analysis
5. Concluding sentence

Read this example of a body paragraph from an argument essay. What makes this effective? Annotate the paragraph and label the above parts.

Rather than start banning youth leagues, more communities need to start putting policies in place that keep students safer. Like reading the research on which helmets are safest. Like making sure coaches go through tougher training programs so they are more aware of what plays are dangerous and should not be run and of how to make sure that youth do not overwork certain muscles. Like making it illegal for players to use certain head-butting moves. Like making it okay and even admirable to leave the field if you get hit rather than playing through pain. In “The Problem with Football: How to Make it Safer,” Sean Gregory offers suggestions for how to make football safer and if more communities read this kind of work, then perhaps football would be a safer game and less people would be bad-mouthing it. There is some evidence that raising awareness of the dangers of football may be the best first step toward improvement. A recent New York Times article by Belson (2014) stated that the NFL had reported a 13% decline in concussions this year. The NFL credited “improved medical diagnoses, stiffer penalties for striking with a helmet, and fewer practices” for this decline although officials did say that this number is based on a small sample size and there may still be unreported concussions. Still though, this decline may point to a positive sign—that an increased awareness of the dangers and a more vigilant understanding of how to be safer may lead to greater safety.

Apply it: Revise the structure, support, and elaboration of your body paragraphs.